


A Spectacular Performance

by charlottefrey



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game), Detroit: Become Human (Video Game) RPF
Genre: Cole lives with Kara & Luther & Alice, Connor is cute and very much in love with Hank, Elijah and Gavin are related, GAVIN'S AN ASSHOLE, Gavin and Richard are partners here as well, Gay Feelings, M/M, So is Richard, as in separate dads and one mom, circus AU, mentions of deceased parents, no beta we die like men, or something like that, they all (except Connor and Richard) are from Detroit, this happens when i am left along
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-10-02 05:28:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17258423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charlottefrey/pseuds/charlottefrey
Summary: Richard joined the 'Jericho' artistic circus just a few months ago. Now that he's gotten to know the troupe, Elijah considers him ready to perform a duo with Gavin, Elijah's older half brother, for 'Jericho's famous Christmas Show. But they constantly clash, Gavin never satisfying Richard's expectations.A few days from Christmas, Richard and Gavin have a fight. Connor decides that he's had enough and confronts Richard about his behavior after he spoke with Gavin. Then the an unexpected accident happens and Gavin suddenly finds that Richard might not be so bad and horrible after all.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> yeesh... This is the first proper fic I'm writing and publishing since god knows when...  
> I hope I haven't lost my touch, now that I dive headfirst into a new fandom! 
> 
> Please enjoy! As a general warning: Mentions of fear of heights, depression and bike accidents.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richard is being a lil bitch, Gavin is an asshole and Connor is done with this shit.

Gavin’s forehead was dripping with sweat as his feet finally touched the stage below again. Right behind him, Richard untangled himself elegantly from the silk robes. A hand sneaked up his back and Gavin dipped back, Richard leaning over him. The music came to a dramatic end and the lights cut out.

In seconds, the two men jumped off the stage as a stagehand quickly prepared the stage for the next performance. Once Gavin and Richard where outside the main tent, Richard sneered.

  “You were slow!” He snapped and brushed past Gavin.

  “What?” Gavin sputtered. “I was fucking in time with the music, you were the one who was out of tune!” Angry, he grabbed his co-performers glittering outfit and shoved him against the thick metal pole next to him.

  “Gavin!” Elijah’s voice cut through the silence.

Letting go of Richard, Gavin turned around to look at his brother. Elijah stood on the stairs leading to the arena as he glowered at Gavin and Richard.

  “Whatever this is about, you better drop it. You did great, both of you,” Elijah snapped. “If you mess this up, I will personally make sure that you won’t get another job in the business. Now fuck off and don’t interrupt the rehearsal!”

With that, he vanished back upstairs to watch the next performance. Richard shoved Gavin aside and sneered down on him.

  “We both know that you are only employed here because of your brother!” Richard taunted.

  “Yeah, lets not pretend that you are any different. Connor’s begged on his knees that Hank and Elijah considered employing you,” Gavin shoved his face into Richard’s personal space.

Richard scoffed and walked away. Furious Gavin kicked the thick plastic skin of the circus tent. It was cooler out here and in his skimpy outfit he felt it much more than usual. A shiver went down his back. He didn’t know if it came from the cold or his burning anger.

Ever since Richard had joined _Jericho_ he had clashed with Gavin. The fact that two skilled acrobats, both with the same specialty, were employed at the renowned circus had been cause of speculation. Even Gavin himself wasn’t sure if Elijah planned to kick him out now that he had someone younger and a little less impulsive than his little brother.

Richard was skilled, there was no point in denying that. Maybe more skilled than Gavin, but nothing beat experience or not? With a sigh, Gavin brushed his hair back, fingers ice cold against his hot scalp. It might be time to look for a new career. Sighing again, Gavin made his way back stage to wait for the grand finale.

  
  


Thankfully the rehearsal went smooth, only a few minor hiccups, but nothing big. Connor was delighted when Elijah and Hank praised everyone for a job well done. They could pack up their things and move to the next town for their Christmas show without worrying.

After he had changed back into his workout clothes, Gavin headed towards their small gym. The sun had set sometime during their rehearsal and a cold wind had picked up. Gavin shivered, having only throw on a thin leather jacket over his t-shirt.

The gym trailer was thankfully empty except Connor, who did yoga in one corner of the trailer.

  “Hey,” Gavin said and rolled another mat out beside Connor’s.

  “Hiya,” Connor’s voice was pressed as he spoke.

  “You good?”

  “Yeah, just hard to speak,” Connor moved and almost folded himself in half.

Gavin had to look away. Although he really liked Connor, some of the things the juggler was capable of doing scared the living daylights out of him.

  “I assumed as much,” Gavin picked up a foam roller and begun his usual work out.

  “Did you fight with Richard?” Connor asked, eyes closed.

  “Jup, what gave it away?” Gavin flinched as he worked on his legs.

  “I don’t know, maybe the fact that neither of you spoke a word?” Connor moved again, stretching his legs upwards. “Or the fact that he stormed away after the rehearsal.”

  “Richard was pissed because I was too slow. Like fuck,” Gavin growled. “He’s been like a lil bitch ever since he started training with me. Oh fuck!”

Gavin hauled his back away from the foam roller, having hit a particular painful bit of his vertebrae. He groaned as he released some of the tension before laying back on the roller.

  “Are you that angry or does it hurt so bad?” Connor sounded genuinely concerned.

  “Both,” Gavin sighed. “Richard robs any joy I might’ve had at my job. He’s so hard on himself and everyone else, especially me. He hasn’t spoke a word to me apart from work-related things. He’s only got training, training and more training on his mind.”

  “Richard’s disciplined, you aren’t.”

  “Telling me that while I torture myself is a little bit laughable Con,” Gavin scoffed. “I have discipline or else I wouldn’t have come this far. I wouldn’t willingly do fascia training.”

  “It’s not my or Richard’s fault that your muscles are shitty and hate you,” Connor winked at Gavin.

  “Not everyone can be a human fucking pretzel! Because whatever the fuck’s up with your body isn’t normal either!” Gavin bit back.

  “Ooooh someone’s jealous,” Connor teased. “Also, Richard’s under a lot of pressure. Elijah was very clear that he’d be out the door if he fails to meet Elijah’s expectations. That was made very clear from the beginning on.”

  “Yeah, that don’t mean that Richard can simply be a dick to everyone because he’s under pressure. He didn’t have to sign the contract,” Gavin replied with a roll of his eyes. “He even snapped at Chloe… So damn rude!”

  “You snapped at Chloe as well!”

  “I know, but I’ve know Chloe for all her life, she knows I don’t mean shit like that. I’m an asshole because that’s my default setting.”

  “Like fuck,” Connor scoffed. “You always say that and everyone knows it’s bullshit!”

Slowly Connor came to lie down flat on his stomach. Lifting his head, Connor yawned. Gavin laughed and Connor giggled.

  “Sorry, I’m just damn tired. But my point still stands,” he sat up and rolled his shoulders. “Richard’s not that bad and neither are you. Just _try_ Gavin, please. For my sake?”

  “Fine,” Gavin muttered. “I’m just pissed off.”

  “I get that. Just try to think about Richard’s own motivations,” Connor smiled and stood up. “Be good okay?”

  “Yeah,” Gavin watched Connor leave the trailer before he continued with his training.

  


  “Nines?” Connor asked and sat down beside his brother.

  “Yes?” Richard slowly turned around to look at his younger brother.

Connor sat at the small dining table in Richard’s trailer and played with a napkin.

  “What do you think of Gavin?”

  “He’s a moron and he’s not focused enough on his work,” Richard replied calmly. “Why?”

  “Because of what happened earlier,” Connor said slowly and finally looked at Richard. “Nines, I busted my ass so you could work here and the first thing you do is to start fights with the brother of the owner!”

  “I didn’t start it,” Richard replied sharply and returned to the pot on the stove. “And if that’s all you came here for, then I suggest you leave. I won’t change my mind about Gavin. He’s a rude, insolent and incompetent asshole.”

  “He’s rude and insolent, but damn he’s anything but incompetent,” Connor became defensive. “Seriously at least he recognizes that you’re good at what you’re doing. Not everyone has honed their body for years like you did. Gavin does his job well, especially considering his condition.”

  “His _condition_!” Richard snapped. “His fucking condition is called being a lazy ass!”

  “Nines,” Connor barked and slammed his hand on the table. “I know you two don’t get along that well, but Gavin at least tries! You are so full of yourself. And yes, you are under a lot of pressure because of the damn contract, but that’s no reason to be such a prissy ass!”

  “Oh, so you are on Gavin’s side?” Richard sneered. “Fucking amazing Connor!”

  “I am on nobody's side! I’ve told Gavin to be nicer to you and to try to understand you. I’m asking the same of you and by god that’s not much,” Connor said, his voice ice cold and low. “I am done with your constant fighting and yes, I know that Gavin is not entirely innocent in the high tensions running between the two of you, but you are doing nothing to ease the situation.”

  “He’s so damn passive aggressive all the time!” Richard barked. “I’m done with his sarcastic ass and I want to smack his face almost every time he speaks!”

   “There’s no point denying that Gavin is sarcastic and passive aggressive. I told you that long before you even started working here. But do you know what you do? You are high and mighty, looking down on Gavin because he came from the bottom and worked his way from stagehand to performer,” Connor spat.

“And he might have the bonus card that his brother owns _Jericho_ . Or that his mother used to run the circus before Elijah. But, unlike you he’s nice to the people who work here. You don’t see that because you are running around with your nose so high up that even I can’t reach you properly. You’ve become infatuated with yourself _Richard_ and it sickens me.”

  “Connor…” Richard begun, anger gone up in smoke.

  “No. I’m not going to speak to you if you continue to be like this. I don’t recognize you anymore,” Connor stood. “Think about what I said and come talk to me when you’ve understood.”

The door to Richard’s trailer smacked shut when Connor left. Fury boiled in Connor’s veins as he looked at the closed door. He knew his brother wasn’t deliberately hurtful or arrogant. It was his defense mechanics, one that Connor had hated for longer than he cared to admit. It was time that his brother would abadon it.

With a long exhaled, Connor turned away from Richard’s moving home and slowly walked over the parking lot towards his own trailer. The wind bit through his sweater and his teeth started chattering. Suddenly a large arm wrapped around his shoulder and he was pulled against Hank’s warm body.

  “Baby, what’s up?” Hank asked cheekily. When he saw Connor’s face, his expression changed. “Did you fight with Richard?”

  “Yes,” Connor replied, voice small as he leaned against his boyfriend. “Can we talk in my trailer?”

  “Yeah, sure.”

Quickly, Hank leads Connor to his trailer. Once the door was shut behind Hank’s back, Connor throws himself onto his sleep sofa.

  “What happened?” Hank asked.

  “Richard is being an asshole and Gavin kinda too,” Connor groaned.

  “That’s old news, at least the part about Gavin,” Hank said and sat down beside Connor. “You brother hasn’t been part of the team for that long, so I don’t really know much about him.”

  “I know,” Connor wailed and buried his face hin Hank’s chest. “I’m frustrated because Richard has become a bitch. I spoke with Gavin earlier and he told me how frustrated he was and that Richard was being an asshole about a few things.”

  “Connor, I don’t know Richard that well. He’s your brother…”

  “The point is, that even I don’t know this side of him Hank!” Connor sat up. “Actually I do know this side of him, but I’ve never seen it get this extreme. I noticed that he was very closed off towards people, but after Gavin told me that he barely speaks to him about anything other than work, I was getting suspicious and spoke with a few others. They more of less confirmed what Gavin said.”

  “Well that’s not ideal,” Hank said.

  “The thing is, Richard has a point. Gavin is an asshole who may or may not take his work seriously. He is a little lackluster and lazy, but he’s a decent person. He helps out when there’s another pair of hands needed and he’s never been cruel to anyone. When he’s yelled at you, he usually comes around and apologizes,” Connor sighed.

  “Richard might take some time to get around, everyone needs a few months to get accustomed with everything and everyone,” Hank replied softly. “Even you were nervous and unsure of yourself in the beginning.”

  “Richard might be unsure, but he’s a little to full of himself,” Connor ran a hand over his face in frustration. “Marcus said he ignored his explicit advice not to train alone at night and Simon got snapped at by Nines when he messed up the lights during a solo training.”

Hank sighed, his chest rising and falling dramatically.

  “What did he say?”

  “He wasn’t pleased and started yelling that Gavin was just as bad.”

  “Ow,” Hank sighed again and kissed the top of Connor’s head. “What did you say after that?”

  “I told him pretty much that he’s on a high horse and should better get down before something worse than a fight happens. And I might’ve told him that he was a vain asshole,” Connor bit his lip. “My anger got the better of me.”

  “These things happen. If Richard is really the person you know him to be, he will get around. I can’t imagine that he won’t listen to you.”

  “I hope so too,” Connor sighed. “But enough of my stupid brother and his stupid partner.”

With a sigh, he sat down next to Hank and leaned against him.

  “Didn’t you recently video chat with Cole? How is he doing?”

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and giving kudos! If you enjoyed this chapter, please leave a comment below!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things happen, words are spoken and Gavin is crushing too hard on Richard. Also: Mums rule!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to read more of this AU, please tell me. I have more where this fic came from!

Slowly, the silk robes spun as Richard swung through the air. Gavin sat in the back of the audience and watched. He wasn’t sure if Richard knew that he was watching, but he usually knew everything, it was very likely that he used this opportunity to show off. 

Not that Gavin cared. 

Richard had changed the past few days. Ever since they had pitched the tent in St. Louis, he had been more attentive and approachable. Whatever happened, it must’ve been something profound. 

Gavin yawned. He was insanely tired after going out with Tina and Chloe the night before. Before starting a new show in a new town, everyone tried their fucking hardest to distract themselves from the impending doom of potential failure. 

Rolling his neck, Gavin leaned back in his seat, hoping that Richard would wrap his training up quickly so he could go to bed and finally relax. 

Then suddenly, a metal clanking and then the robes went slack. 

Richard fell one, two, three metres before he hit the large cushion place on the stage with a loud thud. For a heartstopping moment all Gavin could do was stare then movement came to his body and he stumbled forward. The first few steps he managed to control his feet but then he tripped and slammed his knee onto a metal edge. 

The pain shooting up his thigh was unbearable and he wheezed, unable to properly articulate this level of pain. 

But he literally ground his teeth together and stood, stumbling and tripping down the remainder of the stair until he reached the stage. Gavin pulled himself onto the carpeted floor and hurried as quickly to Richards side. 

By now, Richard had freed himself of the silk and had sat up. Gavin grabbed him by the shoulders and stared into his dazed eyes. Tears ran down Richard’s cheeks and he hadn’t seemed to recognize his surroundings or Gavin. 

  “Richard!” Gavin yelled. “Hey!” 

He didn’t react and merely blinked slowly a few times. His breathing was hard, fast and flat. Gavin felt panic well up in his chest but forced it down. He took a deep breath. 

  “Richard!” Gavin held him tighter. “I know you are scared,” he said, calming his voice. “but I need you to listen to me. I need you to calm down. It’s scary right now, but everything will be alright. Richard? Can you understand me?” 

Richard slowly nodded. Gavin took another deep breath and watched Richard mimic him for a second, but he fell right back into his staccato breathing. 

  “That’s amazing. I need you to calm down, do you understand?” More nodding. “I’m here, right beside you and nothing will happen to you. I won’t leave.” 

Richard nodded again and blinked once. Then Richard inhaled deeply and again and again. He collapsed forward and Gavin caught him, the added pressure sending needles through his injured leg. 

  “Everything will be alright Richard,” Gavin muttered, feeling how hard Richard’s heart was beating just under his ribcage. “I’m here for you, all is going to be alright.” 

Fumbling his phone out of his pocket he dialed Chloe’s number. 

  
  


Gavin was sitting in his trailer, Chloe examining his leg with. With her, Elijah, Hank and North in the trailer, Gavin felt confined in his bed. 

  “What the actual fuck happened?” North asked for the nth time.

  “I don’t know!” Gavin snapped. “Seriously I was just as terrified as Richard for a second. I’ve  _ never _ seen anything like that!” 

  “Markus and Simon are still searching for the hook. It must’ve come loose or broke…” 

  “Hank, we both know how unlikely that is. We are not stupid. All of our equipment is top notch and gets checked regularly,” Elijah replied, his voice hard and taunt. 

For a few seconds, everyone fell silent. Even Chloe looked up from her work.

  “You’re implying that someone tinkered with the hook?” Hank asked, a hard edge to his voice. 

  “It’s the only possible explanation for this. Someone who has a problem with Richard being here,” Elijah said. 

All of a sudden, everyone looked at Gavin. Fear swelled up in him as he felt the questioning looks on himself. He tried to sit up better, but the pain in his leg stopped him. 

  “What?” His voice cracked. “What are you implying?” 

  “Elijah!” North said sharply. “Gavin would never!” 

  “You thought it a possibility too for a second.”

  “For a second maybe!” North snapped. “But Christ! It’s more likely that Chloe did it or Simon of all people!” 

  “Don’t suspect your brother,” Hank grabbed Elijah shoulder. “He would never.” 

Elijah ran a hand over his face and Gavin saw his brother struggling. He knew about the pressure on his shoulders. 

  “I know,” Elijah sighed. “I just  _ don’t know _ ! One of my best performers has had an accident right under my nose…” 

  “Simply accusing people won’t help you solving this,” Chloe said calmly and stood up. “I suggest we wait for Marcus and Simon. When they find the hook in question, we can consider our options. Gavin and Richard both need rest.” 

Everyone watched the young woman pack up her things and walk out of the door. North and Hank followed her soon after, leaving the two brothers in the small trailer. 

  “I’m sorry Gavin,” Elijah said and he looked sorry. 

  “Hey, I know that you are worried and terrified. I get it. So much depends on finding out who did this. I am not pissed at you for suspecting me, okay? No hard feelings,” Gavin reached for his brother and Elijah sat down beside him. 

  “I’m just thinking of all the possibilities it could’ve gone wrong. It could’ve happened during the show, it could’ve happened to you…” 

  “Where’s the ruthless Elijah I’ve come to hate?” Gavin teased him. “It didn’t. We can count ourselves lucky.” 

  “Two of my best performers may of may not be out of the show a few days before Christmas? This is lucky?” Elijah looked at him. 

Gavin smirked at him. He knew Elijah wasn’t a hundred percent serious. 

  “I’m not going to be out. I’ve done the show with worse injuries.” 

  “Even you can’t keep pretending that your leg is fine. The amount of trauma your knee has taken during the last few years will have it’s effect sooner rather than later,” Elijah rolled his eyes at Gavin. 

  “Well, then I can work as a prostitute, I’m pretty enough for it…” Gavin winked at him. 

  “Fuck off,” Elijah told him and kissed his temple. “I’ll check in tomorrow and you better be still in bed!” 

  “Move before I kick you out!” Gavin snapped back.

  “Call mom!” Elijah yelled before he stood and slammed the trailer door behind himself. 

Gavin rolled his eyes at chuckled. He might even call mom. It wasn’t like he could do much else now. 

  
  


  “Oh fuck…” Penny said and for a moment the picture froze up and Gavin was worried he lost the connection. “This is bad…” The feed was back and he watched his mother take a sip of tea. 

  “Elijah is freaking out. You might want to consider calling him later,” Gavin replied. “We’re all a little shell shocked.” 

  “A little might be putting it nicely,” Penny pulled the computer closer. “How is your partner?” 

  “I don’t know. Connor brought him to his own trailer after what happened. Chloe checked on him before she came to me. Apparently from a nasty shock, Richard’s fine.” 

  “Mmh.” 

  “I was terrified for a moment,” Gavin said quietly. 

  “Anyone would’ve been terrified in that situation,” Penny brushed her hair out of her face. 

His mother looked older through the shitty camera of her laptop and Gavin wondered if she slept enough. Her dark eyes were half lidden, showing just how tired she was. Work on the farm seemed to take a larger toll on her than she actually wanted to admit. She was tougher than nails, but still, Gavin worried about her. 

His mother had survived losing the love of her life twice before finally settling down alone with only her cats and her neighbor for company. Neither of her husbands lived to see their sons grow up and she had been married to each barely a decade. She had lost so many people in her life, but kept on. 

Gavin felt tears well up in his eyes

  “I really miss you,” he confessed. 

  “Oh baby, I miss you terribly as well! Both of you in fact! I’m looking forward to see you guys in January when you stop by in Detroit,” Penny smiled. 

  “Trust me, both of us are more than excited for it,” Gavin smiled back at her. 

  “It will be brilliant. The cats are looking forward to see you, especially Roomba.” 

   “Yeah.” 

Gavin fell silent and looked out of the window, his gaze following Connor who was crossing the parking lot back to his own trailer. He wondered for a brief moment how Richard was doing. 

  “A penny for your thoughts?” Penny asked with a wink.

  “Mum,” Gavin rolled his eyes at her. “Jesus, that one’s so old.” 

  “It still works.” 

  “Barely.” 

Silence again. Gavin licked his lips. 

  “Is it about your partner?” Penny asked. 

  “Ye-yeah.” 

  “Tell me,” shifting on the sofa, Penny pulled her blanket up. 

  “I don’t know. We had a fight recently. Richard’s like super intense when he’s working and you know how I am…” 

  “I sure as shit do.” 

  “And he was pissed because I wasn’t showing the same ultra dedication as him. Which is fine, frankly not everyone has to have a stick up their ass,” Gavin ran a hand through his hair. “He was such a dick, with his nose somewhere up there-” he pointed to the ceiling of his trailer. “-like he was something better!” 

  “Would this be a bad time to throw in that you used to think of yourself as high and mighty?” 

  “I know,” Gavin’s voice was pressed. “and we both know how it ended.”

He reached up and trailed his fingers over the cut on his nose. Penny’s smile was sad and she sighed.

  “Sweetheart, he sounds a lot like you a few years ago. Give him the benefit of the doubt. Some people hide a lot behind a mask that might seem repulsive at first,” Penny inhaled deeply. “And you know how much I hate the bad-guy-is-actually-sensitive-trope. Talk to Richard, not now, maybe tomorrow morning and ask him how he’s doing. Get to know him properly. You have to trust each other in order to do your jobs properly.” 

  “The thing is mum, he’s changed since our fight. I don’t know if Connor spoke to him, but Richard has been nicer and less strict,” Gavin sighed. “I started to really like him.” 

  “Well, then he’s done the first step. All you have to do is to extend your hand and help, especially now. Elijah told me it would be his first real show with you guys and I imagine that he’s very nervous about it. And after the accident I don’t think he’s just gonna continue like nothing happened.” 

Gavin thought about his mother’s word, gazing over the top of his computer at nothing particular. He heard her rustle with her blanket and again wished that he could hug her, be close to her. 

  “You’re right as always mum,” Gavin said quietly. “I’m gonna do that tomorrow.”

  “I’m glad to be of service,” Penny chuckled. “I’ll let you rest now honey, be good. Oh, and tell Hank I saw Cole and Sumo yesterday. He was shopping with Luther, Kara and Alice. They too are looking forward to you all coming into town!” 

  “I’ll tell him,” Gavin promised. “Love you mum.”

  “Love you too,” Penny said and blew him a kiss before turning off the camera. 

For another minute or so, Gavin sat in his bed, fingers resting on the keyboard and simply went through want his mother had told him. She had always been a positive influence on him. 

Today wasn’t any different. 

He smiled, closed his laptop and set it aside. Things would be better tomorrow morning. Or at least he hoped it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and giving kudos! If you enjoyed this chapter, please leave a comment below!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More conversations are had, Richard is being gay, Gavin is being gay and Connor is snoopin around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is pretty much as uneventful as it goes bc about 70% is just talking. But because I am a slut for plot-and-backround-heavy-conversations, here we go.   
> Hope you like it!   
> Also: I'm writing on a semi-short epilogue (which will probably be posted? Idk depends on whether or not you want more of this) that'll turn out to be longer than expected bc i am a mess who cannot stop.

Richard’s trailer was still shiny and new. It was weird seeing something so clean on a circus camping ground, yet here it was. Out of place, just like Richard. Just like Gavin, who had never entered someone’s trailer without explicit invitation. It felt like invading someone’s most private place. 

After all there was little privacy to be found when touring with a circus. 

With a sigh, he lifted his hand and knocked. There was some rustling to be heard and the door opened. Richard was wearing a tracksuit and looked very tired.

  “Hey,” Gavin said. “I wanted to check on you.” 

Richard looked confused for a minute, but then he opened the door wider and waved Gavin inside. 

  “I just made a pot of tea,” he said slowly. 

  “Thank you,” Gavin climbed the stairs and closed the door behind himself. “Have you slept at all?” 

  “Not really,” Richard confessed and set another mug on the small table. “I… I have some issues sleeping sometimes.” 

  “Just call it what it is,” Gavin replied. “It’s insomnia.” 

Richard made a non-committal sound and poured milky black tea. 

  “There’s already sugar in it. I hope you don’t mind it,” Richard warned. 

  “That’s fine,” Gavin smiled at him. 

To his surprise, Richard smiled back. It was the first time Gavin had seen him smile at him. Usually all he got was scowls and frowns. Smiles were reserved for Connor alone. 

It warmed something in him he didn’t want to name. 

  “You should start doing yoga,” Gavin suggested. “It helped me a lot to sleep better.” 

  “You’re doing yoga?” Richard’s smile grew a little. 

  “Yes, I know. It’s very unlike me. But it really helps,” Gavin replied. “I can show you some easy positions you can try.” 

  “Thank you for the offer and the concern,” Richard said. “I just don’t know if it will help me, especially in my current situation.” 

  “Maybe, I don’t know, but it’s worth a shot.” 

Richard sighed. He licked his lips and took a sip from his mug. His eyes trailed out of the window and he swallowed dry. 

  “I’m scared of heights”

Gavin looked at him, sensing the inner struggled Richard was going through. Richard inhaled deeply and spoke again. 

  “Or at least used to be. I don’t know. Yesterday… It brought back memories of things I didn’t want to remember.” 

Richard’s eyes flickered to Gavin and then back out the window. The expression on Richard’s face was terrified and vulnerable. 

  “I’m not good at consoling people, that’s my mum’s job. But the one thing I am good at it rationalising things,” Gavin said firmly. “I’m not without fear either. Though there’s not only fear. Hank calls is respect.

“The difference between fear and respect is thin. I respect heights, I respect motorcycling. Those are rational fears, things or activities that could potentially harm me. Those are things I can explain to myself  _ why _ they are scary. 

“I know it sounds dump, but if you keep telling yourself that there is a rational part to you fear, a part than you can acknowledge and face, things get easier. It took me ages after my first motorcycling accident to get back onto a bike. But I did it. Because I kept telling myself that there is a part of my fear I can control. By taking measures to ensure my safety, by not being reckless.” 

Richard had turned his head back to look at Gavin. The sudden undivided attention made Gavin self-conscious. He rarely spoke so seriously to anyone. 

  “What I am trying to tell you is that once you trick your brain into minimizing the fear, you can manage the fear much better. It turns from something that utterly petrifies you into something that keeps you on your toes,” Gavin licked his lips nervously and broke eye contact. 

Richard inhaled deeply. 

  “Thank you,” Richard said quietly and a little pressed. “I mean, Connor’s trying his hardest to help and support me, but he can’t understand my fear. It’s just so all consuming.” 

  “It cripples you,” Gavin agreed. “Shuts down every higher, more rational brain fucntions and just traps you.” 

  “Yeah,” Richard muttered. “I feel sick, as if I’m about to vomit, but I can’t fucking move…” 

Gavin reached over the table to grab Richard’s hand resting on the table top. He squeezed the other’s fingers and got a weak smile in response. Tears sparkled in Richards eyes. 

  “It feels weird to tell you all this… But it’s a good weird?” Richard chuckled. “Thank you Gavin.” 

  “The only reason I’m doing this is so I don’t have to do the show solo,” Gavin said and winked. 

  “First of all  _ rude _ , second of all, has no one ever told you fuck up when you’re trying to wink?” Richard grinned at him. 

  “I know that I can’t wink to save my life. There was once a terrible date that I messed up royally, partly because of my inability to wink. Elijah always loves to remind me when I do.” 

Richard laughed. Something lifted off Gavin’s shoulders at the sound. He had been really worried about Richard and his mental wellbeing he realised. He felt a jab of emotions as his heart started aching. 

Gavin was hit with the sudden and slightly violent realisation that he really liked Richard.

He swallowed and tried to hide it by pulled his hand back and taking a sip of his now lukewarm tea. Richard smiled at him softly and Gavin flushed, cheeks heating up. 

  “I… I’m just wondering why you came by,” Richard said quietly. “Like I’m grateful that you came, but just to check up on me, this seems a over the top.” 

  “When shit like that happens, we rely on other people you know?” Gavin rubbed the back of his neck. “I was never someone to stand on the sidelines when someone was in trouble you know? I’m an asshole to people sometimes, but I still care about them. Had to learn the hard way what it means when you’re alone and in trouble. 

“When I was twenty I had a biking accident. That was a few years after Elijah’s dad died and my mum was terrified for both of us,” he sighed. “Understandably and rightfully so. Elijah wasn’t doing well and neither was I. I was young and dumb and I fucked up really bad. I thought I was invincible and took my mom’s scrambler into the countryside. 

“I crashed, badly. That’s when I hurt my knee for the first time and broke my nose. I smacked face first into a tree and rolled down a small hill. The motorcycle was ruined and night was falling. I called my mum and Hank. Had to wait two fucking hours until they finally found me. It changed something, in my relationship with my mum and with Hank, with myself even. I know how it feels to be alone with my fears.” 

A hand reached over and grabbed his wrist. Looking up, Gavin looked into Richard’s eyes full of sorrow and understanding. Gavin smiled weakly and sighed. 

  “I’m sorry,” Richard said quietly. 

  “It was only my fault this happened. I’m dumb sometimes, even now, years later. Even with experience and even with resolutions to do better. But I have people I love, people I trust with shit,” Gavin took Richard’s hand properly. “I face my fears whenever I have to.” 

  “I wish I could be that hardcore.” 

  “It’s not whether or not you are hardcore or not. It’s about the people that stand with you and who pick you up afterwards.” 

Richard hummed. For a few seconds neither spoke. 

  “Would you… would you do the choreography with me? Now I mean?” Richard’s voice quivered. 

   “Yes.” 

  
  


Connor strolled across the parking lot towards Richard’s trailer, as he passed the main tent. Soft music was playing and he stopped. Maybe someone had left the tape on so now it was playing on loop. Without thinking more of it, Connor entered through the back and walked into the tent from the performer's entrance. 

He stopped dead in his tracks at the scene in front of him.

Four single beams of light were turned on, meeting in the middle of the arena. They illuminated the two long silk robes hanging from the ceiling. But that wasn’t what caught Connor’s attention. 

Gavin and Richard slowly swung, secured in the robes as they went through their choreography. 

It stole Connor’s breath. It wasn’t that he had never seen the two men perform together. Just not in that way. It was unhurried and fluid, natural almost as Richard hooked his legs into Gavin’s, completely trusting the other man to hold him up. 

Something had happened since yesterday and whatever it was, it had turned Gavin and Richard into utter miracle workers.

With bated breath, Connor watched as Richard swung up, back into Gavin’s arms. They two men embraced for a second before Richard untangled his legs and was only held up by Gavin’s hands on him. The two joined hands and Richard was slowly lowered. 

By now Connor’s heart was beating in his chest, even though he had seen his brother do even more daunting tasks in the past. Then Gavin rolled his body down, hanging tightly in the silk robes. Now hanging head down, he still kept his grip tightly on Richard’s hands. Richard on the other hand hadn’t shown a sign of distress as the sudden drop in altitude. 

Then, Gavin let go of one of Richard’s hands and both stretched their respective arms up and to the side. Richard turned slightly as he hung completely still. He looked up to Gavin and even from the distance Connor saw how Gavin smiled at his brother. 

With a smile of his own, Connor slowly walked back out of the tent. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and leaving kudos! If you enjoyed this chapter, please comment below!   
> If you want to read more of this, please tell me!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is actually SUPER short. I apologize, but I did not know how to write more stuff bc creating plot out of nothing is not my thing.  
> i hope you like this anyway and enjoy it!

Gavin had a bad feeling when Richard wasn’t there when they were called to the arena. He was always there before Gavin and it unsettled him to a great deal. Connor strolled by, tossing a few balls through the air and humming along to the music blasting in the main tent. 

  “Connor,” Gavin said. “Where’s your brother?” 

  “He’s still stuck with Simon. Something with his costume, I don’t know. But he’ll be here in a bit,” Connor replied, still juggling as he slowly walked away, utterly focused on what he was doing. 

  “Fucking shit, what is going on?” Gavin sneered. 

He didn’t dare to yell, too scared for the audience to hear his outburst. The next few minutes passed painfully slow. Then the lights turned off in the main tent and one of the stage hands hurried out to hang the silk robes. 

Still no sign of Richard. 

Gavin wanted to tear his sparkly suit off and run away, but he grit his teeth. Well then he’d just do the solo he knew from memory. As he slowly walked onto the stage, the music set in, slow organ notes floating through the tent. One white beam of light hit him and he looked up towards where Hank sat. 

He stopped for a moment and suddenly, a hand came to rest on the small of his back. Richard strode around him, winking at him. Gavin wanted to slap him, but controlled himself in the last minute. 

With a smirk, Richard grabbed the silk robes, twirled the red fabric around himself once before he climbed up. Once he had made himself a comfy seat at the top, Gavin grabbed the two robes himself. 

Determined not to have Richard steal the show from him, he climbed up until they were face to face. Gavin wound both of his feet tightly into the robes and let go, reaching for Richard as if he wanted to kiss him. 

  “You’re full of shit.” 

Richard chuckled and licked his lips.

  “Just get it on with.” 

******  
  
**

Elijah clapped Gavin’s back. 

  “Brother, this was amazing, I’ve never seen any performance of yours that could rival what you just did. Despite your recent injury I should add.” 

  “Thanks, Elijah,” Gavin rubbed his knee, slightly flustered by Elijah’s praise. “Still hurts like a bitch though.” 

It had begun hurting near the end of the performance. He now sat in the performer’s preparation tent where he had met his brother by chance as he nursed his knee. 

  “I mean it. Mum would be proud,” Elijah smiled genuinely. “I gotta go. You’re needed in thirty minutes again, until then I want you to rest.” 

  “Yes, mommy,” Gavin stuck his tongue out. 

With a roll of his eyes, Elijah left. The tent flap was soon opened again and Richard stepped in. Finally Gavin could look at his new costume properly. To his mild horror it was mainly made from glittering mesh, revealing more of Richard’s body than anything else. 

  “You did good,” Richard said, kneeling down in front of Gavin. 

  “Good?” Gavin snapped. “What the he…” 

Richard put his hands to Gavin’s face and leaned in, bringing their faces closely together. Inhaling sharply, Gavin’s eyes flickered down to Richard’s lips. 

  “I’m joking,” Richard whispered. “You were glorious.” 

Gavin gave a weak whimper and closed the gap between their faces. He reached up to grab the back of Richard’s head to hold him close. his other arm wrapped around Richard’s waist. Overbalancing, Richard fell forward onto his knees. Somehow they manage to not knock their teeth out, but Gavin’s lips was caught somewhere between them. 

  “Ah,” Gavin pulled back and licked at his lip. 

  “I’m sorry, I hurt your lip a little,” Richard said and lifted Gavin’s chin.

  “Good thing I’m into that,” Gavin smirked and pulled Richard closer. 

  “Gavin, are we really discussing your kinks now?” 

  “You are the one kneeling between my spread legs in a skimpy glittering outfit.” 

  “It’s not like you’re dressed modestly either.” 

  “I don’t look nearly as sexy as you,” Gavin murmured, his hands grabbing hold of Richard’s ass. “I was about to pop a goddamn boner on stage for crying out loud.” 

  “You’re not so bad yourself. At least you are shaven,” Richard smirked and kissed his cheek. 

  “Fuck off,” Gavin rolled his eyes.

Richard laughed and gently kissed him again. All anger, if there ever was any, was gone in a second. Gavin inhaled deeply. 

  “We gotta have that awkward talk soon.” 

  “What awkward talk?” 

  “Y’know what we’re gonna do with this,” Gavin gestured between them. 

  “ _ This _ ?” Richard said. “I want to be with you and I think you reciprocate.” 

  “Yeah, but what if it doesn’t work out… It would be pretty awkward.” 

  “Why wouldn’t it work out?” 

  “Have you  _ met _ me? I’m a mess!” 

  “Likewise. Let me be utterly honest with you Gavin. This would be the first serious relationship for me in a long time. You know that when I’m serious I mean it. I like you Gavin. Despite all of your messiness.” 

Richard’s stern gaze was directed at Gavin and only Gavin. 

Swallowing the lumb in his throat, Gavin tried not to freak out. His heart was galloping in his chest and his skin felt overheated. Richard’s hands still rested on his face, gently cupping his chin and cheeks. 

  “Fucking hell,” Gavin muttered and wound his arms around Richard, letting his head fall against Richard’s chest. “Why do you have to be so perfect?” 

  “I’m an angel sent from heaven to kick you dump fucking ass until you start appreciate yourself,” Richard whispered softly, holding onto Gavin tightly. 

  “Shut up,” Gavin muttered. “Do you always fall in love with idiots who help your overcome your fear of heights?” 

  “No. Only if that idiot happens to be you Gavin.”  

  “Stop being so sappy and cute!” 

  “I won’t. Because it annoys the living shit out of you.” 

  “Ugh,” Gavin sat up and looked at Richard. “Let’s do this.” 

  “A sudden burst of confidence?” 

  “No, we’re needed for the finale.” 

  “I know as a fact that we still have ten minutes.” 

  “Ah shit,” Gavin groaned. “I was hoping you wouldn’t call my bluff.”

  “I’m not pressuring you into making a decision now,” Richard said, letting go of Gavin. “I can give you some space if you want….” 

  “Fuck! No,” Gavin grabbed Richard’s hands. “I want to try this. Just know, I got issues. Like more than just my dad and stepdad died and I’m a little bit of an asshole. Therapist worthy-issues.” 

  “I’m video chatting with my therapist bi-monthly.” 

  “Do you always have to one up me?” 

  “Yes,” Richard said and gently kissed Gavin. “It’s so much fun to see you finally meeting your match.” 

  “Asshole,” Gavin replied and pulled Richard close to kiss him properly. 

  “I’m excited to beat you at every single thing you do.” 

  “No wonder I like you so much. So competitive and such a  _ dick _ about it.” 

**   “ _ Gay _ vin.”    
**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and giving kudos! If you enjoyed this chapter, please leave me a comment!   
> I might post the thing I am writing on soon-ish depending on how quickly i will write or if i will even finish it. 
> 
> Thank you for sticking with this story!

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr is charlotte-fret!  
> I'm no native speaker, so there might be some mistakes!
> 
> Edit: I just realized this is my 160th work....


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